What the f**ck is mindfulness? according to the oxford dictionary “mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique”. Yet as we get older it becomes harder to apply it into our lives. Why? the main reason is because we block our minds with daily problems and overthinking. Have you ever heard that overthinking is not helping you sleep or it causes more stress. You are not using mindfulness think about it ( how ironic LOL ) how many times you try to sleep but the things in your head are blocking you from falling asleep.
If you are wondering how to get mindfulness.. Read on
It turns out, our brain is like a computer. Every now and and then, you need to turn it off, or at least reset it in order to get better performance. This is where mindfulness comes into play. When we practice mindfulness it helps us to regulate our emotions, decrease stress, anxiety and depression. It will also boost our focus and attention.
Let me tell you about my experience.I was not as aware of how much mindfulness could help us. It took me years to find out why it’s important to have mindfulness. I see it as being kind to ourselves. As you read this, you will see that I learned this the hard way. Figuring out that I need to switch the focus of my life, not just because is good for me, but mostly because of my kids, has been crucial for me. I have being more mindful now than I have ever been. I was always trying to be my best self but I was not happy not because I felt my life was not fulfilling. For instance, I was unhappy with how I looked. My body changed a lot after having my kids, I got stretch marks, I was not able to achieve my post-pregnancy weight. I was feeling the pressure all of us women feels due to the need to get back into shape for fear of not being seeing as pretty anymore. We fear our husband might not find us attractive anymore or the people around thinking we let ourself go.
Why do woman have the pressure of being pretty all the time… by the standards of people you don’t know or care about? Let’s set the right effing standard: everyone is beautiful.
Before I continue let me say that I used to care a lot of what people thought of me and I was always concerned about how I looked. As I got older, I don’t really care that much about that. It does not mean I don’t like to look good, but I now I want to look good for me. That being said, getting to this point was hard. On the outside you would see a very happy person that didn’t give a f**k about what you thought of me but on the inside I was suffering. I was not been mindful. Instead of seeing my body as a powerful effing power machine that gave me the privilege of giving birth to two of the most fantastic humans I know, I was letting my mind go to some dark places and really do damage to my health. How did I discover what I need to do?
Let me tell you.
A sweet friend that is a personal trainer told me these kind words without knowing what I was going through and I will always be grateful (Thanks Michelle if you are reading this…) Here is what Michelle told me that open my eyes to be mindful.. “Hey Yunibe”, she said, “I have noticed that you enjoy fitness, why don’t you try it with me at the park I would like to have you as my partner”. I told her I was not in the best position to do anything at that moment, with my two kids, I didn’t have time for myself. She said: “Oh honey we don’t do this because we have time, we do it because we love ourselves and if we are happy our kids are happy too”. Those words were such an eye opener and a reminder that I need it to be myself again. I started to workout again and began meditating. One common misconception is that in order to meditate we need to be siting in a quiet room, without interruptions of any kind. It turns out that No You Don’t. I meditated while cooking, changing diapers or even while taking a walk with the kids in the park.
You can get a a calm mind while meditating even if is standing up or while washing the dishes. Meditation is listening to ourselves, without judgement during the process. In meditation all the thoughts that come to your head while trying to stay calm are mostly things that need your attention, unresolved problems, work, family etc…. don’t think that in order to feel great and be mindful you need to achieve perfection and your mind needs to be blank. The most beautiful way to get to know thyself is by having a one on one meeting with your mind and discover all the beauty that is inside with the good and the bad, without judging. That is mindfulness. DO NOT get discouraged if your thoughts wonder while trying to meditate, the idea is to recognize it, without judging it and then bringing your thoughts to a positive place.
Your mind is like a puzzle, it needs to be together with the pieces in your body to be able to communicate sadness, happiness, laughter and it’s totally achievable to know how to calm down when you need it. That’s how meditation helps you find mindfulness, by bringing the pieces together. I ask you to start, take action and a first step in this journey
Below is a pretty cool list of ways to get you started, do it as many times as you wish and do one of those activities each week and let me know what benefits you get from a single one on one with yourself..
Weekly Mindfulness Activity
My commitment..
– Choose one activity for each week (for example, brushing your teeth) and during that activity, make the choice to be mindful about this activity specifically – focus on how it makes you feel, how are you doing it and what was the hardest part for this particular task.
– At the end of the week, write a short reflection on how paying attention in this way shifted your experience of the activity and if it helped you or not.
Activities to choose from for the next 5 weeks, no particular order:
1. Concentrate on brushing your teeth.
2. Take a nature walk, here you will focus on the little things around you, such tress, a creek, animals etc.
3. Take a sound walk, here you will focus on the sound around you.
4. Make a scavenger hunt, look for one particular object and focus on find it wherever you are. It could be a red pen, the color purple or simple a white car etc.
5. Take a 1min rest & release tension, just sit and try to focus on letting go for that whole minute.